tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-03:230992 Becky_H Becky_H 2009-05-21T23:54:55Z tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-03:230992:802 2009-05-21T23:54:55Z 2009-05-21T23:54:55Z public 5 If I talk to you about poly, in more than the very vaguest of terms, I trust you. I trust you *a lot*. <br /><br />There is something about being 'out' to people as non-monogamous that makes me feel vulnerable than anything else (for me). There's all these ideas and stereotypes that come along with having more than one partner, and trusting people not to try to shove me into some neat little box (the wronged wife, the whore, the gay woman staying married for the kids -- the list goes on) is really harder than I'd have ever imagined 10, or even 5 years ago. <br /><br />I love Michael. I love Tes. I'd say I'm 'in love' with them, but that phrase still makes me think of crushes and infatuation, not something enduring. I've been married to Micahel almost 12 years. I've known Tes for nearly 6, and we've been 'together' for over a year. Yes, it's an internet relationship, which gets it's own batch of eye-rollers and groaners, but -- well they can fuck off. I met my husband and many, many close friends online. <br /><br />There is no game. There is no lying. There is no deceit. Michael knows I have a girlfriend, and Tes sure as hell knows I'm married with kids. It's not even terribly exciting most of the time. Tes called me today and got Michael. Michael was in the car with the phone and told her to email me because I was at home. It was AWESOME and slightly funny because she tried to surprise me and I screwed myself out of a call. <br /><br />This is my life. I LOVE this life. I love these people. I don't want to collect partners, I don't have a crazy high sex drive (it's actually kind of low, frankly, and that was before paxil). I just want to enjoy my life, to love who I love and be loved who people that love me. <i>However</i> I love them and they love me. I don't care about numbers. I don't care about social conventions, I care about moral convictions. <br /><br />Love's a good thing, right? <br /><br />Oh hell yes. <br /><br />Oh <i>hell</i> yes.<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=becky_h&ditemid=802" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-03:230992:454 2009-05-03T06:38:51Z 2009-05-03T06:38:51Z public 1 I don't know what I'm doing with this journal yet. <br /><br />I do know that I have perfectly good fandom and day-to-day living journals over on LJ, and I see no need to mirror either one of them over here. That means if I use this journal for anything at all, it's going to be something different. <br /><br />Maybe it'll be a project blog where I talk about crochet, gardening and writing. Maybe I'll use it to talk about sensitive topics, like politics and religion. Maybe I'll be deeply introspective and talk about philosophy. Or cooking. Maybe I'll do some of all of the above. <br /><br />The point here is: I don't *know* anything it will be, just what it won't be. So, you know. Subscribe at your own risk, unsubscribe at your leisure, and hopefully we'll all have a perfectly good time over here.<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=becky_h&ditemid=454" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments